Friday, 30 November 2007

A Nice Green Leaf: French women don't wear fleeces


Sorry to sound like one of those drive-you-mad francaises, but British gardening outfits don't really do much for the figure, do they? It has occurred to me in the past that fleeces may have been invented by English men to drain English women of the last vestigial ounce of sex appeal, as a preventive measure against infidelity. And I have always avoided buying them. Like the plague. And by this I mean I panic and run home to stock up provisions and probably also Tamiflu if I even think I might have to try one on.

But now I finally have a fleece of my own, due to the verging-on-compulsory workwear I have to put on to volunteer a morning a week at Kew Gardens.

My god! Now I understand why ze English woman want to walk around making ze tit of herself.
Previously I thought all those mums standing outside the local primary school were simply participating in a project to look as unattractive as possible. But it's like the warmest thing I've ever put on! C'est chaud, hein? Et confortable, non? Plus it's made of such thick industrial navy blue synthetic fibres, zat ze Engleesh rain, ah, it's just a distant memory.

Anyway, basically, I haven't taken it off for about a week. But I bet French women have got some equivalent invention, but just more stylish, which they won't share with us. Someone out there spill the beans, why don't you? Post the link for the site where us fools can purchase sexy
French outfits for digging and pruning. Or maybe I've just finally got to the bottom of why they don't like gardening as much as we do.

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