Tuesday, 20 May 2008

A Nice Green Leaf: And the Judges' Verdict is... What About Those SIDEBURNS?


There was only one topic of conversation on horticultural lips when I got back home last night, let me tell you. I was dying to see how Chelsea 2008 had gone down with friends viewing it from the comfort of the sofa, as  gardens can often look so different on TV - leading to totally different verdicts on the crucial "Best in Show".

But there didn't seem to be one obvious garden that everyone had loved. Hmmm. They weren't sure. It was almost as if something had been distracting them. Finally I realised what the real issue of the day was: summed up in an excited text from my friend Amanda - "WHAT ABOUT ALAN TITCHMARSH'S SIDEBURNS?"

Now I hadn't really looked at La Titchmarsh all that closely yesterday, but I went back to the photos I took, and my god! Forget Tom Stuart-Smith's green garden - what about Titchmarsh's sidies? The style statement! What kind of look is he going for, do you think? Little razored flicks of hair that are more Eddie Cochrane than Geoff Hamilton - possibly resulting in a new genre of "rockabilly gardening". The whole image verges on something heavily influenced by the Southern Death Cult. Just keep that SDC webpage secret from him, please, before he gets any more ideas.

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