There's nothing like a bit of sunshine to get me thinking about what my garden is missing. I go to Homebase, I have a wander around. And yet nothing seems to quite fit the bill.
I have realised this week that this is because the things I am imagining in my head are out of my price range until I get that senior hedge fund management job I've been meaning to apply for. In the interim, here are the top ten things I'll be acquiring for my outdoor space when I have about six million more pounds than at present.
1. Outdoor Shower
Stella Mac got into terrible neighbour trouble for hers, but according
to Naomi Cleaver that's mainly because everyone was annoyed that they weren't going to get to see her naked. Frankly, I don't mind running under the sprinkler or even a camp shower, but for the real glamour outdoor feeling, a teak outdoor shower it's got to be.
(Java Shower, pictured right, from Habitat.)
You wouldn't believe how useful a garden wetbar
is. When you are throwing cocktail parties for all your rockstar
friends, it's just so handy to have somewhere you can keep the tequila
cold. Frankly, I'd be happy with just a ledge to lean on after
drunkenness kicks in, but the running water is the icing on the cake.
I was imagining something slightly classier than this, but on the other hand, it's only $379!
More fun, and possibly more robust, is to build your own Tiki Bar;
but my ideal would always be the little French bar, open to the air,
which adjoins Le Corbusier's summer cabin on the Cote D'Azur (see
right). And look! It's got an octopus painted on it!
There's absolutely nothing to beat the feeling of sitting outside
sunbathing in an item of clothing that cost your entire expendable
monthly income and which comes with a label saying "avoid contact with
water". Actually, now I come to think of it, let's get the kaftan as
will achieve the feeling that you are in the Caribbean quicker than a
huge stand of bougainvillea growing up and arching over your garden.
Sadly, there is pretty much no more expensive plant. For Londoners, New Covent Garden Market after about 8.30am is a good bet for picking up plants on the cheap; for pretty much everybody else, it's a pipe dream.
(Image from Flickr by Joe Hastings.)
5. Somewhere to snooze
Some folks swear by a hammock.
Others are happy with a park bench and a can of Super Tennants. I'm
gonna hold out for a gigantic wickerwork bed, in the garden.
Although I have to say I prefer it in the natural-coloured artifical with fuchsia covers.
To be continued...